{"id":219,"date":"2007-01-18T13:33:34","date_gmt":"2007-01-18T13:33:34","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/chriscurnow.com\/index.php\/2007\/01\/18\/mistsakes_ive_m\/"},"modified":"2007-01-18T13:33:34","modified_gmt":"2007-01-18T13:33:34","slug":"mistsakes_ive_m","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/chriscurnow.com\/?p=219","title":{"rendered":"Mistsakes I’ve Made"},"content":{"rendered":"

Julian Lippi<\/a>‘s PhD thesis has been a rich source of reflection
\nfor me over the last few days. <\/p>\n

Today, I was caused to think about mistakes I’ve made both in my professional
\ncareer and in my personal relationships. <\/p>\n

I was reading Jenny’s story where she said: <\/p>\n

… every professional mistake I’ve ever made in my life … has
\nbeen a failure to listen. I cannot think of any time … I’ve got myself into
\nhot water that couldn’t be traced to a failure to engage with the other person’s
\ndata for long enough, or at a deep enough level. Can’t think of a time where
\nit wasn’t about listening. (p161) <\/p><\/blockquote>\n

This would be quite true for me as well, although I would add an important
\nfactor that comes into play for me. It might be the same as what Jenny is speeking
\nabout or it might be something different.<\/p>\n

For me, I always relate my mistakes to my failure to engage with myselft.
\nWhen I think about it afterwards, I realise that at some level I always knew
\nwhat was going on. I knew what was going on, or at least I knew that something
\nwas wrong, but I suppressed that knowledge. More important than supressing
\nthe knowledge, I supressed what my feelings about or sense of what was happening.
\nWhen I became uneasy, I would allow my natural optimism to overide the unease
\nand used it as an excuse to not even allow my conscious mind to be aware of
\nmy unease.<\/p>\n

In this way, my optimism is a defence against the conflict I fear would, and
\noften would have, arisen if I had acted.<\/p>\n

I regard myself, and most people who know me well regard me, as an insightful
\nperson. One colleague (who I would regard as a person with great insight herself)
\nI worked with on a year long project remarked to me "You see things that others
\ndon’t." In my heart of hearts, I fully believe this to be true. I don’t like
\nclaiming it for myself because it sounds like I am boasting. <\/p>\n

However, because of my fear of conflict, I have sometimes been stingy or mean
\nwith my with my insight. I have kept it to myself. In this way, I lose out
\non being acknowledged for what I bring to the situation and the other (or others)
\nmiss out on insight about themselves and how they might do things differently.<\/p>\n

It has taken me a lot of personal work to know this about myself and to know
\nwhen it is happening. It is still my greatest challenge. Each day and before
\neach interaction, I need to prepare myself to be aware not only of what is
\ngoing on around me but, more importantly, to be aware of what I am observing. <\/p>\n

  <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Julian Lippi‘s PhD thesis has been a rich source of reflection for me over the last few days. Today, I was caused to think about mistakes I’ve made both in my professional career and in my personal relationships. I was reading Jenny’s story where she said: … every professional mistake I’ve ever made in my […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2,3,4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-219","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-entrepreneurship","category-leadership","category-quantum-leadership"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/chriscurnow.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/219","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/chriscurnow.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/chriscurnow.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chriscurnow.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chriscurnow.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=219"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/chriscurnow.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/219\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/chriscurnow.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=219"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chriscurnow.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=219"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chriscurnow.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=219"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}